Britney Spears Files for Divorce From K-Fed

People magazine has confirmed that Britney Spears, 24, filed for divorce from her husband Kevin Federline today. She filed the papers on the grounds of 'irreconcilable differences', but I think that's just a nice Southern gal being polite.

What she probably meant to say was, "I'm filing on the grounds that my bum of a husband, who had already impregnated and ditched another woman when he first met me, is basically useless. He can't hold down a real job, or any job for that matter, he smokes and drinks way too much, and he has quite the wandering eye."

While all of these reasons are more than valid, I do realize that there probably wasn't a check off box next to anything even remotely close to that. The good news is that K-Fed, 28, will most likely not contest Britney's request for custody of both boys, seeing as he isn't exactly father of the year material. I wonder if her first husband, Alexander, will consider taking her back?

• K-Fed Wants a New Image
• Britney Should Not Have a License
• Miss Brit Whines to Matt Lauer