Top 10 Celebrity Gossip Headlines You'll Never See

The chances of socialite Paris Hilton ever being invited to join Mensa are very very slim. The heiress did say that she thinks West Africa is a great country, so maybe she can further her education out there while she waits for an invitation.

Mary-Kate Olsen is best known for her big baggy outfits and overall hobo-ish look. Underneath all those layers, MK is hiding a frail little skeleton of a body. She wears a size 12 when she should really be shopping in the kids clothing section.

Troubled singer Amy Winehouse knows a thing or two about singing and building a fan base. What she remains blissfully unaware of is the ability to stay clean and sober. To help promote the release of her DVD in 2007, Amy even promoted smoking and drinking by handing out pint glasses and ashtrays with any purchase.

Following one of the nastiest divorce battles in years, Heather Mills walked away from her marriage to Paul McCartney with a cool $48.7 million. With only four years of marriage under her belt, that's about $12 million per year. Not a bad parting gift if you ask me.

Despite the rampant rumors that George Clooney and his girlfriend Sarah Larson became engaged in early 2008, the gorgeous actor remains a bachelor. While George has courted many women over the years, he has yet to find one that he's ready to settle down with.

At the age of 45, Demi Moore remains mum on the subject of plastic surgery. How does she claim to stay looking as young as a teenager? In an interview with David Letterman, Demi waxed poetic about her fondness for blood sucking leeches and how they contribute to her over overall vitality. Whatever you say Demi.

When Britney Spears was at the height of her career, she was a hugely successful star. Soon after hooking up with Kevin Federline, things began to slide downhill. Two divorces and two often ignored children later, Britney is struggling to revive her career. From a pathetic performance on MTV to her repeated 'hospital stays', Britney might never be back on top.

Former Playboy Playmate Pamela Anderson is on track to be the next Elizabeth Taylor. Even with three failed marriages ending in a scandalous fashion, Pam refuses to give up on the idea of happily ever after. She called it quits with Kid Rock after only four months and followed it up with a two month marriage to Rick Salomon.

Let's just say that Jessica Simpson should probably stick to what she knows best. She has always enjoyed success when it came to selling albums or promoting her own fashion line. One area in which she continues to fail would be the acting arena. Her recent movie flop, Blonde Ambition only brought in $1,200 in ticket sales over the entire weekend.

Brad Pitt and his partner Angelina Jolie are the most jet-setting celebrity couple. With four children and more on the way, traveling can be tricky. They're rumored to have several houses in the Los Angeles area, a country estate in England, as well as homes in New Orleans, Camobodia, and Berlin. I highly doubt that New Jersey will be next.